11 Reasons Why Being Naked Will Always Be Hotter Than Lingerie

Ibought my cheap lingerie online first set of lingerie online at the age of 27. When frexting my friends foropinions once it arrived, many assumed it was a bold swimsuit. Thisisn’t meant to insinuate any sort of prudishness on my end; I thinksexuality is super fluid and rad and people should enjoy their own inwhatever consensual way they want. It just took one tipsy Thursday totest my theory and order a set. Just to see what would come of it. (Spoiler: it was adumb waste of money.) I never bothered wearing lingerie before because I had a hunch that being naked would always be sexier, and also free, which I enjoy very much.

Ifeel the same way about lingerie as I do about fancy wrapping paper: It can becomplicated, it costs unnecessary dollars, and ultimately it justkeeps you away from the good stuff longer than is reasonable. I guessmovies and magazines popularized the concept of “treating yourpartner” with some smokin’ new series of knots and feathers andjunk dangling from your body like some ridiculous network ofChristmas ornaments. As a person who is attracted to men, I gottaadmit that I am  lingerie for men hasn’t exactly attained mass popularity. Take itoff, I say! Burn it! Or better, just don’t buy it. After all, nudityis healthy.It’s natural and BONUS: it’s pretty dang hot. Here’s why you shouldchoose naked over lingerie:

It’sinstantWhohas time to wait around for all the  disrobing?Also, TBH, getting skinny jeggings off sweaty summer legs isdifficult and robs us of enough time anyway. Why add to that? We’vegot places to be, people to bang. Let’s go.

Itcould save your partner some stressListen,I already super hate to discover a button fly while, y’know, alreadydeep in the midst of . But then there’s thepossibility of MORE STEPS between you and getting someone naked? Although the feathery thong you purchasedspecial for this post-Applebee’s date night is probably way adorablein some warped way, chances are yourpartner will have no immediate idea how to help free you of it. Imean, I get that part of the idea of lingerie is allowing others toogle you in it some prior to its shedding—but how long can a personpretend they’re admiring stitchwork while secretly hunting for azipper? Snaps? Hooks? ANYTHING? WILL YOU DIE IN THIS SEXY ROOSTERCOSTUME?

So much cheap lingerie online stressHave you ever had alover/crush/person-of-boneable-interest write and then play a songfor you? Or even just play a song that someone else wrote that they want to play for you? It’s a verynice gesture but it also could cause quite the uncomfortableexperience—namely with eyeball stuff. Do you watch their hands onthe guitar? Make eye contact? Close your eyes completely? This dilemma holds up for skimpy underthings. I have no idea if there is a standard protocol of how long aperson is supposed to openly appreciate your effort, financial andspiritual investment when they peel off your maxi dress to find nylonspiderwebs darting across your boobs.